Why dating app Hinge is killing your chances of finding a nice guy

One of the side effects of writing a book about dating, is that every now and then I get a message from one of my (female) friends needing advice.

Take Margo for instance (not her real name).

Margo uses Hinge. One of the newer swipe left or right dating apps that looks surprisingly similar to Bumble or Tinder.

Margo has no problem at all ‘matching’ with guys, but after some initial messaging, her face-to-face ‘dates’ are nearly always disappointing – they’re not nearly as attractive as they appeared on the app, and the chemistry is non-existent – leaving Margo with the unpleasant task of “letting them down gently” the following day.

Except that every now and then, the guys get in there first.

This makes Margo feel like there must be something wrong with her – specifically, her personality. That maybe her enthusiasm for books, animals and geeky facts is off putting in some way?

But that’s NOT what’s happening. At all.

The problem isn’t Margo, or her personality – the problem is the app, and how Margo is using it.

What’s happening to Margo is that she’s choosing her potential dates based on photos alone, and she’s matching with a lot of these guys because most guys pretty much swipe right on every single woman they’re presented with. Way to go fellas. Way to make a woman feel special.

So when Margo she eventually meets these swipe-right-on-everyone guys, she THEN discovers they actually have very little in common.

What needs to happen, is that Margo needs to be far more choosey at the swiping stage – and to do this, she needs to review whatever profile text is available. More than that, she should never make her swipe right or left decision based on a picture alone – regardless of how cute these guys might be, or whether they’re wearing a shirt or not – it’s simply not enough information.

Instead, if Margo were to discount all the profiles that have barely (if any) profile text, she would automatically eliminate the lazy, vain, shallow men. But more than that, she’d be left with a more eloquent, thoughtful, and frankly infinitely more interesting, pool of male suitors. Men who believe that they might have to make a little more effort than simply uploading a picture of themselves without a shirt on.

More than that, now that Margo is considering profiles that have some text, she can start scanning for mentions of dogs, books, geek stuff, humour… whilst at the same time keep an eye out for any ‘Red Flags’; text that is 100% about them, political beliefs counter to her own, text that is 100% about sex, bad grammar, a hatred of dogs or cats, obvious stupidity, racist or sexist comments… whatever.

Suddenly Margo’s chances of meeting someone with whom she might actually click, have risen ten fold.

For more tips like this, download How To Stop Waiting And START DATING. The definitive guide to twenty-first century dating – whatever your age – from me, Peter Jones, best selling author of How To Do Everything And Be Happy. Only £1.99 for your Kindle enabled smart phone, tablet or laptop. Tap here to download. Also available in paperback.

Stop Waiting, and START DATING! (Now updated for #Tinder )

The definitive guide to twenty-first century dating – whatever your age!


It’s been four years since my popular dating book came out. Four years!! Where on earth has the time gone?? I mean… you could have easily met someone, got married, had a kid, and got divorced in that time! Or… you could have sat around, at home, just waiting for the man or woman of your dreams to knock on the front door…

Here’s a funny little story that I don’t get to tell very often.

A while back I got invited to talk to a Women’s Institute in North Essex. This was a return visit, and so I started (as I always do) by asking if anyone remembered how long it had been since my first visit.

“16 months!” said a lady in the front row.

“16 months?” I replied. “That’s very precise!” Before leaping into the torrid tale of How I Met Kylie Minogue…

When I’d finished speaking, the lady in the first row got up to give ‘the vote of thanks’ (I always pity the person who’s been given that job).

However, rather than the usual comments (‘what an interesting talk’ or ‘judging by the laughter I think I can safely say everyone enjoyed that’ or ‘where do you get your energy from?’)this lady proceeded to tell me, and her fellow WI ladies, how sixteen months earlier she’d rather coyly bought a copy of How To Stop Waiting And Start Datinghaving asked me whether it would be suitable for ‘a lady of her age’.

She took the book home, read it cover to cover, followed each and every step (including the advice on buying a pay as you go mobile phone), and four months later – much to the amazement of her daughter and friends – finally met George. And they’d just celebrated a year together. The happiest year of her life. And that’s how she knew it was sixteen months.

Her story is similar to many that I sometimes hear, as I travel around Essex. Stories from people who, for one reason or another, had given up on dating websites, or thought they were too old, or met one too many Lotharios… but with a little help from yours truly, found love again.

So why a second edition?

Shortly after the first edition came out, the world of dating changed. With the ever increasing popularity of phone apps, Tinder suddenly crashed into our world. Finding the man or woman of your dreams became as simple as swiping right (or left) on a bunch of selfies. People who Tinder thought you might like to spend the rest of your life with.

Except that anyone who’s ever used Tinder will tell you that it’s not that simple. You swipe right on a bunch of people… but you never seem match with anyone. Or you DO match with someone… but they never ever message you back. Or they do message you back… but they turn out to be… erm… well let’s just say unsuitable. The potential for heartbreak just goes on and on and on…

If ever there was an app designed to put you off dating for life, Tinder is it.


You know me.

That’s like a red rag to bull!

Why doesn’t Tinder work? Could it? Was there a way of using it that everyone else seemed to have missed? I needed to know.

Now unfortunately it took a little while longer than I anticipated to research test, and write my conclusions, but four years on the entire book has been updated. And not just for Tinder either. Every single piece of advice I put my name to back in 2014 has been scrutinised, and where appropriate, given a fresh new lick of paint.

Tell me more about How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating (second edition)

I’m so glad you asked. Chapters includes…

Tinder; Yay or Nay?
How to make Tinder less frustrating,
and is Bumble any better.

D*ck Pic!
How to avoid getting *those* type of messages

Flash Bang Wallop What a Picture!
How to take the perfect selfie,
why it might be a good idea to include a horse in your photo,
and why you should stop doing ‘duck face’!

First Contact
What to say in your opening message,
and what to do when they reply!

Forget ‘First Dates’!
A smarter, easier, stress-free way to meet someone for the first time!

Sex On The First Date?
That question, answered.

What Type of Pizza Are You?
How to score at Speed Dating events


The Four Laws of Dating
As non-negotiable as gravity!

The Ten Golden Rules of Dating
One more rule than the last edition
– break them at your peril!

And much, much, MUCH more…

If you’ve ever found dating a challenge, if you’ve found dating apps or websites to be less than fulfilling, if the thought of a ‘first date’ terrifies you, I promise this book will guide you through the potential pit falls, help you avoid the liars and Lotharios, and show you how meet and date people you actually like.

“Hilarious anecdotes and brilliant step-by-step advice”
Sarah T, Reader

Wait a minute… there’s more…

And as if that wasn’t enough, the mini-companion-guide to How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating has also been given a makeover. Whilst the actual content hasn’t changed all that much, From Invisible To Irresistible has a new title. One that makes much more sense. One that actually tells you what the book is about!

If the thought of dating apps or websites or any of that techno-malarkey makes you feel slightly nauseous – and you’d rather meet someone ‘the old fashioned’ way – How To Be Even More Attractive could be exactly what you’re looking for.

Both new editions are available right now, in paperback, and for your kindle enabled phone or tablet. What’s more, whether you want a paperback or an ebook, you’ll pay less than you did for the first edition. How To Be Even More Attractive is just 99p!

Other ebook editions for other ebook reading apps and devices should be available early 2019.

If you have any dating relating stories that you’d like to share with me, I’d love to hear them. Feel free to pop them in the comments below (or click/tap here if you’re reading this in an email).

And if you are reading this in an email, why not forward it on to a friend who might find it interesting?

Find the books, right now, on your local amazon site:

How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating
How To Be Even More Attractive