3 Reasons Why You Too Can Find #Love, #Lust or #Romance in #2015


stop waiting for your prince

It’s a funny thing about running Happiness Workshops, I’ve started to notice that the same ‘wishes’ – and therefore the same ‘goals’ – come up time and time again.

THE, number one goal – the one that perhaps half the attendees in any given workshop will share – is to lose weight. But in second place, the other goal that a sizeable chunk of my readers and clients want to nail, is the relationship goal – by which I mean find one.

However, unlike losing weight, most people I’ve met seem unwilling or unable to do anything about the state of their love life, or lack of. True, they might spend a good deal of time wishing that some handsome prince or princess will knock on their door. They might, in a flurry of madness, sign up to one of the larger dating websites and spend an evening with a bottle of chardonnay, sat in front of the computer, scanning pictures of other singletons wondering whether this could be the one. They might even throw caution to the wind and go on a date, only to return home several hours later humiliated and heartbroken and vowing never to do that ever again. But that’s as far as they’ll get. And they’ll stay single. Maybe, forever.

Now if any of that rings true I want you to imagine me sitting here, with my arms crossed, shaking my head slightly in dismay. Because it doesn’t have to be that way!

If you started 2015 hoping or promising yourself that it was going to be a good deal less solitary than last year, then let me be the first person to grab you by the shoulders and tell you it can. And here are three reasons why:

Reason number 1 – You’re not the only one reading this blog post!

If almost half the people in any given workshop are looking for romance, it stands to reason that there are, contrary to how it must seem, an awful lot of people out there looking for love! I use the word ‘looking’ in the loosest sense of course, because the truth is that’s the one thing they’re not doing. Not really. They’re waiting. Just like you. But that’s ok, because whilst they’re doing bugger all about their single status you don’t have to. All you have to do is find them, and fortunately for you, I know how you can do just that.

Reason number 2 – Dating can be fun!

Here’s an idea that I’d like you to wrap your head around; dating can  be enjoyable. And if you’re one of the many, many people who’ve found the reverse to be true then I’d like to wager that you’re doing it all wrong.

Dating, like a lot of things in life looks simple enough, but  there’s a right way of doing it, and about sixty zillion wrong ways. And whilst it would be nice if everyone was naturally good at dating, we’re not, just as not everyone is naturally good at dancing.

A good ‘date’ can be broken into seven distinct phases – each one can & should be exciting, and fun, and flirty, and lots of other adjectives that broadly speaking mean romantic. Want to know what they are?

Reason number 3 – I can help!

Hey you! Stop waiting!I’ve been where you are! Several times! I never found my wife until I did something about it, and when I lost her I had to start all over again. I think I’ve probably made every dating mistake there is to make, but the upside of all that heartbreak is that you don’t have to be single for a moment longer. Let me tell you what I’ve learnt.

How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting is available right now in paperback, audio, and for your kindle or free kindle reading app.

In fact, from Friday 9th January 2014, until Thursday 15th, the kindle version is a mere 99p (or local equivalent). That’s pocket change. You’d spend more on a cup of coffee, to drink on your own.

Read the opening chapter here.

Read more: How about 5 Top Dating Tips or The Nine Golden Rules of Dating

50 per cent of all romances start on the internet


Twenty years ago I worked in an office where people dictated letters and memos, and handed them to a secretary to type up. Our department was considered high tech; as well as a secretary, the five of us shared a PC. It wasn’t networked. The internet didn’t exist. I honestly have no idea how we got anything done.

Now the entire world is ‘online’. My ten-year-old niece and nephew send me poems they’ve written, pictures they’ve taken or songs they’ve created, electronically, from a variety of devices scattered around their house. They visit ‘virtual worlds’ where they create and take on the persona of ‘monsters’ and meet other children of the new millennium. And only occasionally does this hi-tech world fall short of their expectations. Like when my nephew recently expressed some frustration when he couldn’t connect to Nana’s WiFi.

“Nana doesn’t have WiFi,” said his dad.

“No WiFi!” replied my wide eyed nephew.

When it comes to finding love in the 21st Century, I’m a big believer in the Internet. In How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting I actually claim that 50% of all modern day romances probably started online. Now how on earth did I come up with that figure? Buckle up people. Prepare to be nerdified.

Let’s start by looking at Online Dating Websites, specifically how popular they are. Below is a list of the fifteen most popular websites, according to eBizMBA.com. This information is ‘correct’ (or so say eBizMBA) as of October 2014. And in case their website ever disappears off the face the www you can download a PDF of the page I’m looking at here.

  1. match – 35,000,000 unique visitors per month (31.9% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  2. pof – 23,000,000 unique visitors per month (21.0% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  3. zoosk – 11,500,000 unique visitors per month (10.5% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  4. okc 10,150,000 unique visitors per month (9.2% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  5. eharmony – 7,100,000 unique visitors per month (6.5%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  6. badoo – 6,000,000 unique visitors per month (5.5%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  7. christianmingle – 5,500,000 unique visitors per month (5.0%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  8. ourtime – 3,500,000 unique visitors per month (3.2%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  9. datehookup – 3,000,000 unique visitors per month (2.7% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  10. blackpeoplemeet – 1,200,000 unique visitors per month (1.1%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  11. howaboutwe – 1,000,000 unique visitors per month (0.9%of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  12. seniorpeoplemeet – 900,000 unique visitors per month (0.8% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  13. speeddate – 850,000 unique visitors per month (0.8% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  14. chemistry – 550,000 unique visitors per month (0.5% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)
  15. jdate – 500,000 unique visitors per month (0.5% of visitors to the top fifteen sites)

Wowsers. That’s a lot of people.

eharmony claimPay close attention to number 5: eHarmony. As of today they claim they are responsible for almost 4% of all US marriages (This is based on a survey they commissioned in 2012).

Now, if we assume that eHarmony’s stats were correct in 2012, and are still correct today, and that all dating websites are equally effective (!!!), then mathematically the top fifteen websites are responsible for a whopping 61.8% of all US marriages!!

That seems… unlikely. Fortunately I can list the reasons why:

  1. eHarmony’s survey was possibly a little optimistic back in 2012 (given that they commissioned it)
  2. And it’s almost certainly out of date today (given that there are many new players in the online dating website community)
  3. Some dating websites are definitely better than others, whilst others are worse.

But if we adjust our numbers assuming that eharmony’s newley wed statistic is actually only a quarter as impressive, ie. that they’re only responsible for 1% of US marriages – and that whilst some websites are less effective than eharmony, some are also better – this still means the top fifteen websites could be responsible for, approximately, 15.5% of all US marriages.

So what if we take marriage out of the equation? Here’s an interesting statistic taken from the 2002 paper snappily entitled Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the United States published by the CDC: The percentage of US women, in co-habiting relationships, that turn to marriage within 5 years are 75% for white women, 61% for hispanic women, and 48% for black women.

Let’s pretend all American women are black for a moment, and that cohabiting couples that don’t tie the knot in five years go their separate ways, This means you can assume there’s one unmarried couple cohabiting for every two married couples, and that the top fifteen dating sites are therefore responsible for 23.1% of US people cohabiting and/or married. But this figure rises when you remember that there are white and hispanic women, and that some couples co-habit for longer than five years.

Add to that number those people who aren’t shacked up together, who are *just* dating (whatever that might mean), and that number might easily double again: 46.1%

And what about all the dating websites that didn’t make the top fifteen? Actually, forget dating sites, what about the likes of twitter, facebook and all the other social media sites that actually do a far better job of introducing people than the sites that are supposed to be about introducing people!? Suddenly that initial guesstimate that the internet is responsible for 50% of all relationships seems somewhat low!

Online Dating can seem daunting – but it needn’t be a nightmare. Get How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting today, follow the Action Points and you too can find someone special.