Stop Waiting, and START DATING! (Now updated for #Tinder )

The definitive guide to twenty-first century dating – whatever your age!

 

It’s been four years since my popular dating book came out. Four years!! Where on earth has the time gone?? I mean… you could have easily met someone, got married, had a kid, and got divorced in that time! Or… you could have sat around, at home, just waiting for the man or woman of your dreams to knock on the front door…

Here’s a funny little story that I don’t get to tell very often.

A while back I got invited to talk to a Women’s Institute in North Essex. This was a return visit, and so I started (as I always do) by asking if anyone remembered how long it had been since my first visit.

“16 months!” said a lady in the front row.

“16 months?” I replied. “That’s very precise!” Before leaping into the torrid tale of How I Met Kylie Minogue…

When I’d finished speaking, the lady in the first row got up to give ‘the vote of thanks’ (I always pity the person who’s been given that job).

However, rather than the usual comments (‘what an interesting talk’ or ‘judging by the laughter I think I can safely say everyone enjoyed that’ or ‘where do you get your energy from?’)this lady proceeded to tell me, and her fellow WI ladies, how sixteen months earlier she’d rather coyly bought a copy of How To Stop Waiting And Start Datinghaving asked me whether it would be suitable for ‘a lady of her age’.

She took the book home, read it cover to cover, followed each and every step (including the advice on buying a pay as you go mobile phone), and four months later – much to the amazement of her daughter and friends – finally met George. And they’d just celebrated a year together. The happiest year of her life. And that’s how she knew it was sixteen months.

Her story is similar to many that I sometimes hear, as I travel around Essex. Stories from people who, for one reason or another, had given up on dating websites, or thought they were too old, or met one too many Lotharios… but with a little help from yours truly, found love again.

So why a second edition?

Shortly after the first edition came out, the world of dating changed. With the ever increasing popularity of phone apps, Tinder suddenly crashed into our world. Finding the man or woman of your dreams became as simple as swiping right (or left) on a bunch of selfies. People who Tinder thought you might like to spend the rest of your life with.

Except that anyone who’s ever used Tinder will tell you that it’s not that simple. You swipe right on a bunch of people… but you never seem match with anyone. Or you DO match with someone… but they never ever message you back. Or they do message you back… but they turn out to be… erm… well let’s just say unsuitable. The potential for heartbreak just goes on and on and on…

If ever there was an app designed to put you off dating for life, Tinder is it.

Well.

You know me.

That’s like a red rag to bull!

Why doesn’t Tinder work? Could it? Was there a way of using it that everyone else seemed to have missed? I needed to know.

Now unfortunately it took a little while longer than I anticipated to research test, and write my conclusions, but four years on the entire book has been updated. And not just for Tinder either. Every single piece of advice I put my name to back in 2014 has been scrutinised, and where appropriate, given a fresh new lick of paint.

Tell me more about How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating (second edition)

I’m so glad you asked. Chapters includes…

Tinder; Yay or Nay?
How to make Tinder less frustrating,
and is Bumble any better.

D*ck Pic!
How to avoid getting *those* type of messages

Flash Bang Wallop What a Picture!
How to take the perfect selfie,
why it might be a good idea to include a horse in your photo,
and why you should stop doing ‘duck face’!

First Contact
What to say in your opening message,
and what to do when they reply!

Forget ‘First Dates’!
A smarter, easier, stress-free way to meet someone for the first time!

Sex On The First Date?
That question, answered.

What Type of Pizza Are You?
How to score at Speed Dating events

Also

The Four Laws of Dating
As non-negotiable as gravity!

The Ten Golden Rules of Dating
One more rule than the last edition
– break them at your peril!

And much, much, MUCH more…

If you’ve ever found dating a challenge, if you’ve found dating apps or websites to be less than fulfilling, if the thought of a ‘first date’ terrifies you, I promise this book will guide you through the potential pit falls, help you avoid the liars and Lotharios, and show you how meet and date people you actually like.

“Hilarious anecdotes and brilliant step-by-step advice”
Sarah T, Reader

Wait a minute… there’s more…

And as if that wasn’t enough, the mini-companion-guide to How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating has also been given a makeover. Whilst the actual content hasn’t changed all that much, From Invisible To Irresistible has a new title. One that makes much more sense. One that actually tells you what the book is about!

If the thought of dating apps or websites or any of that techno-malarkey makes you feel slightly nauseous – and you’d rather meet someone ‘the old fashioned’ way – How To Be Even More Attractive could be exactly what you’re looking for.

Both new editions are available right now, in paperback, and for your kindle enabled phone or tablet. What’s more, whether you want a paperback or an ebook, you’ll pay less than you did for the first edition. How To Be Even More Attractive is just 99p!

Other ebook editions for other ebook reading apps and devices should be available early 2019.

If you have any dating relating stories that you’d like to share with me, I’d love to hear them. Feel free to pop them in the comments below (or click/tap here if you’re reading this in an email).

And if you are reading this in an email, why not forward it on to a friend who might find it interesting?


Find the books, right now, on your local amazon site:

How To Stop Waiting And Start Dating
How To Be Even More Attractive

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10 Top #Dating #Tips

stop kissing frogs
Dating – not necessarily easy, but pretty straight forward, right? You probably think you know what these ten tips are going to be already! Well you might just be surprised; there’s more to successful dating than hairspray and perfume.

  1. Figure out what you want: Most people have a long list of things they DON’T want in a partner – you significantly increase your odds of finding someone by doing the exact opposite; decide what qualities you’d like.
  2. Re-evaluate your image: If you’ve had the same hair-do, same clothes, same anything, for a while – it’s probably time for a makeover.
  3. Go online: 50% of all modern relationships start on the internet. Get yourself on social media, start being social, and find a good dating website – you’ll more than double your chances of meeting someone than staying in the real-world.
  4. Say cheese! When it comes to profile photos you’re scientifically proven to be more attractive if you’re looking into the camera & smiling. Men should do the opposite.
  5. Action photo! Science says a photo of you doing something (playing an instrument, riding a horse) is better even than the smiley photo. Although photos of you drinking are an exception to this rule.
  6. Beware the pleasant message exchange: Endlessly pinging flirty messages back & forth with someone you’ve yet to meet is a bad idea no matter how much fun you’re having. If you’ve found someone nice online, you must arrange to meet as soon as possible.
  7. Don’t do first dates: First dates are scary & horrible. Skip ‘em. Meet for coffee first, and only for 15 minutes.
  8. To meet the one, you must first meet the many: You’ve heard it said that every journey starts with a single step, finding romance generally takes more than one date. Many more.
  9. Dating can be fun – if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not doing it right.
  10. Sex on the first date? Not if you ever want to see them again.

You can find the science behind these tips – and many more besides – in HOW TO START DATING AND STOP WAITING. Available in paperback, ebook & audio download.

Dave Monk (BBC Essex): How To Be Successful at Online Dating

 

Over the last few weeks I’ve been playing catch up with some of the radio interviews I’ve given over the past few months, and back in May of this year I was invited back onto the Dave Monk show on BBC Essex, to celebrate twenty five years of the internet and to talk specifically about the surge in online dating popularity.

You can listen to the whole interview by clicking the big play button in the image below, or here if you’re reading this in an email.

We talk about my own experiences as well as some scientifically proven tips and strategies to make your own dating efforts more successful, such as…

  1. Whether you should smile for the camera
  2. Just how much of your profile should be spent talking about yourself (vs the person you’re looking for), and
  3. What to say in that opening message

Want More Tips?

If you want to delve into the detail the tips above, pick my brain for more nuggets of dating gems, or need a little more hand holding, then I have some very good news. How To Start Dating And Stop Waitingmy third self-help book, is available in paperback and as an ebook. An audio version – which includes the companion guide From Invisible To Irresistible – is also available at audible (co.uk and com)

You don’t need a Kindle device to read a Kindle book. Download the FREE kindle app for your computer, smart phone or tablet from amazon (.co.uk | .com)


TGGGTGTG drop shadowIf you like a little romance in your fiction, particularly if you’re a fan of books like Bridget Jones’s Diary, or High Fidelity, or About a Boy, then you might be interested to know that  The Good Guy’s Guide To Getting The Girl, my debut novel, is finally available!

It’s available in paperback and ebook, and it can be yours in two clicks, for less than the price of a cup of coffee – click here now.

Phoenix FM ‘Happy Club’: Top 5 Dating Tips

Over the next few weeks I’ll be playing catch up with some of the radio interviews I’ve given over the past few months, including my ‘Happy Club’ slot of Michelle Ward‘s show on Phoenix98 FM.

This week we hop back in time to March of this year when Michelle and I talked about the highs and lows of 21st Century dating. Click the big play button in the image below, or here if you’re reading this in an email.

artesanWe chat about my top five dating tips (something that you can read more of here), why it’s too easy to fall in love with someone online, and why I eventually decided to cut off my long flowing locks all those years ago (hint: the picture to the left was taken long long loooong before I made that momentous decision)

Want More Tips?

If you want to delve into the detail behind my five tips above, pick my brain for more nuggets of dating gems, or need a little more hand holding, then I have some very good news. How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting, my third self-help book, is available in paperback and as an ebook. An audio version – which includes the companion guide From Invisible To Irresistibleis also available at audible (co.uk and com)

You don’t need a Kindle device to read a Kindle book. Download the FREE kindle app for your computer, smart phone or tablet from amazon (.co.uk | .com)


TGGGTGTG drop shadowDuring the show I mention that my debut novel, The Good Guy’s Guide To Getting The Girl, would be available ‘at Easter’. Then Easter came and went and the novel was nowhere to be seen. Well the good news is it is finally available!

The official launch is September 12th 2014, when the ebook will be less than a quid for a very limited period, and I’ll be personally delivering copies to anyone who wants one (that last bit might not be true). Subscribe to this blog to be reminded of the launch nearer the time, but if you can’t wait four weeks to flick through the contents of my imagination, click here now.

Finding love on Twitter

twitter-love
I talk quite a bit about using facebook to find romance (in How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting) but does the same apply to that other social media giant? Is it possible to find love… on twitter? Writer Helen Hunt thinks so. It snuck up on her when she wasn’t even looking.

“I should probably start by saying that I wasn’t actually looking for love on Twitter. I’d been divorced for nearly ten years, I had my own house and four cats. Yes, four. Yes, I know … And I genuinely thought that was it; that was all that life had to offer.

As a writer, I mainly saw Twitter as a place to talk to other writers and gossip with my friends. I had no idea that it would spark a train of events that would lead to me swapping my single lifestyle for the life I have now, living with my partner and his three sons. (And still four cats.)

Back in November of 2011 I started chatting on Twitter to crime novelist Mike Walters. As with so many connections I’ve made on Twitter, I can’t exactly remember how it started. I suspect we were both chatting to other people in the writing world, and somehow our Twitter social circles and our conversations overlapped.

We started out by talking about writing. He was intrigued by my short story writing because it’s a form he’s never tried, and I was interested in his crime writing as that’s the genre I like to read. Then, as time went on, we started talking about more personal things and we realised we had a lot in common. We have similar political views and outlooks on life, and we realised that at various points in our lives we’d lived in the same places as each other.

I found out he was a widower and single parent to three kids. He found out I was single with four cats, but, amazingly, this didn’t put him off. Slowly the public timeline chatting drifted into private DM chatting and that’s when we decided to meet up.

When I mentioned that I had never been to Manchester, which is where one of Mike’s books is set, he offered to give me the official ‘Trust No One’ guided tour. I have to say, I’m still waiting for my guided tour, but we did meet up and we’ve never looked back since.

We first met ‘in real life’ in February of 2012. We took things fairly slowly at first, because of the children, but we moved in together in September 2013 and are now planning to get married.

It seems odd to talk about being attracted to someone on Twitter when you only have their words to go on, but for me I think it was the perfect way to start a relationship. After all, the way someone thinks about life and the words they use to communicate are so much more important than anything else about them.

I realised there was something special about Mike really early on in our Twitter communication, and everything else since then has just been a journey to prove that I was right.”

The moral of this story? Keep your eyes open because you never know where Mr or Ms Right might be lurking.


SDSW drop shadow colour smallHelen writes short stories and features for the likes of Woman’s Weekly, My Weekly, The Weekly News, Best, Yours, The People’s Friend, Prima,  This England… to name but a few. She tweets under the handle @hmhunt, and you can find out more about Helen on her website www.helenmhunt.co.uk

How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting is available from amazon or order it via your favourite bookstore.

 

Get ‘Dating’ For Less Than A Quid

SDSW sidebarThis weekend, those charming folks at ebook soda are featuring my latest book, How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting, and in return for sending a few new readers my way (‘Hello’ to all new readers) we’ve temporarily dropped the price of the UK & US kindle edition to a mere 99 pence (or cents, depending on the coins in your pocket).

I’m enormously proud of this book. It’s crammed with dating advice for the man or woman who really doesn’t ‘do’ dating.

The paperback’s well over three hundred pages. The audio is eight hours long! And if you’re part of the kindle generation it can be yours for less than the price of a cheap cup of coffee (that was the best analogy I could come up with – hey, it’s early as I write this!)

To download the book and start reading, click here and hop on over to amazon.

Haven’t got a Kindle? Why on earth not? Download the FREE kindle app for your computer, smart phone or tablet from amazon (.co.uk | .com)

The Wisdom Of Fay

fay's goalsReader Fay dropped me a line via facebook to let me know how she’d got on with her 2013 goals, but what really impressed me was how she’d written them.

Fay had three goals, all written in the present tense, each with a deadline, a penalty attached (ugh!), and saved on her phone where she could see them daily. Now that’s the way to write goals!

So how did she do?

I’m happy to report that during 2013 NO penalties were required – Fay has been dating someone since Oct, she’s running a marathon in May (it’s not Paris, it’s Edinburgh but I think that counts!) and she’s expanded her culinary skills with many a Mary Berry recipe.

The ‘Harrison fix up’ penalty intrigued me. Apparently it refers to her married friend who had a habit of inviting Fay to dinner, where upon she’d discover that the whole thing was a ruse to try and fix her up with another singleton.

If ‘romance’ features as one of your goals, I might be able to help! This month saw the launch of my new book How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting.

It’s available now in paperback, as an ebook, and (once I’ve finished recording it), as an audio download from audible. Pop along to amazon and select the format of your choice.

Alternatively, why not try the shorter, quirkier, companion guide, first; From Invisible To Irresistible – check it out on amazon